Blogathon- Count Down # 13
I have started writing diary from my school days, and it has become a routine from 2003. My Diary- my best friend was with me in all my happiness, my sorrows, my excitements, my ambitions, my foolish thoughts, my unnecessary worries... and in everything related to me. It was to her, I can open up myself completely. Even though I have many friends, I couldn’t feel free to talk everything about me. She was my close friend, my valuable possession. She always kept everything secret, unless I want to reveal. She had enjoyed my small- small victories with me. When I was feeling low, she was there to hold my hands. When I was complaining about anything, she used to hear everything silently. If I were crying, she also cries with me, making me laugh myself.[ sounds crazy?].
When I found my love, her responsibilities also got increased. Every emotion of mine got doubled. Let it be happiness, craziness, sorrows (whenever we had a fight or something) anything.. But, she was okay with all that. She accepted all that changes with all her heart. And keep on being with me giving extra support. With passing of each year, I used to give her a new look also. From the last year when my project started, I became more lazy about sharing my thoughts and feelings with her. I made the excuse that, ‘I am so busy’ and stressed with my works, and only shared the plans of next day. Only the ‘To do’ lists. I think, she may have felt so bad about this. And you know what, I am such a selfish that, I used to reach her, when I feel a bit down, and nobody else to share. This year too, she is being avoided by me. I regret.. Nowadays, I don’t even see her regularly. I have started pouring some of my feelings to my blog. And she became more and more neglected.
I really feel sorry for her. Last night, I have opened my ‘treasure box’[will detail it later], and taken all my diaries out. They reflect ‘me’.. my growth..mental and spiritual growth. I really want to go through all those in one sitting. But, it was not an easy task really. I have gone through the oldest one, and wondered how much I got changed now from then..! That brought me back some old memories [sweet and sour, good and bad]. I really got changed a lot. I was feeling a bit sleepy and stopped at finishing the first one.
On bed, I was thinking about the changes I had. I have found that all the changes are not fair. I mean, there are good changes as well as bad changes. I need to rectify it. I need to get back myself.
I have again started to talk to her. J. Me happy.. J so as she JJ