Wednesday, December 26, 2012

An advice got on time & I needed most...


         I have already told about a friendship that I had lost one day. You might have read it here and here. Today, I came to remember again about her. Two months ago, she got married. Happily got married to a nice guy. I am really happy for her.
          Her marriage... that’s what I want to tell now about. After we had broken our relationship, we didn’t kept any contact to each other. Even though we had some unexpected meetings in between, they were not sufficient to hold back a broken friendship. But, when her marriage came near, she tried to contact me first. Unfortunately, I couldn’t attend her calls as I was at work. And, I couldn’t call her back also. May be it’s my ego. But, I was sure that, this call was for inviting me for marriage. And how can I call her back and ask for the invitation? Let her call again. That was what I have thought that time.
          No any call came, but I got an e-mail from her would- be. That was their wedding invitation card. Oh! Why couldn’t she invite me? And he and me don’t know each other yet.
          There was not at all a thought of, me attending that wedding. When my other friends (who are also invited) called up and asked about how I am supposed to go, and how we can buy gifts (In all weddings, we share and buy a nice gift), I didn't got anything to tell them. Actually except two of them not aware of what happened between us. So, I choose to stay Hmmm...
          When Athi called me up and asked about if I am going or not, I said it. "I am not going da. She hasn’t even invited me properly. And you know all that happened..". She said “It’s okay, if you feel that’s right, then don’t go. I am planning to go by this time and this way.(she mentioned the time and the respective bus).
          Then the day came. I had tuition on the same day. And I was getting ready for going the tuition centre. My students are supposed to come after less than one hour.
          Deep inside, something was disturbing me. Yes, it’s about her. I really felt bad for not wishing her Good Luck. I just typed a greeting to her. Also mentioned that, I won’t be able to attend the wedding – some reasons. This made me feel a bit better, and continued my preparation for the class.
          Everything got changed after I have got the call from my brother Sibi. Not a blood relation, but a stronger bond that made of love. He asked me the same; “you not going?”
Me: (Silence)
He:  Hey, what you are doing? if you don’t want to, then don’t go. But, have you thought about how long you going to keep the distance? Today is her marriage, and after that, she will go her way and you on yours. What if you not attended her wedding? She also won’t attend your’s. And what you both gain from that? Ok listen, whatever have happened between you both, just forget it. Just remember that, you both had a good relation sometime before. and today is a very important day for her. If you don’t attend today, you can’t do it any other day. And every one forget all rivalries when Marriage/ death comes.
Me left blank.... I just  got what I needed most at that time..a perfect advice on correct time. I was totally confused, and now he made everything clear. Yeah, you are right. I don’t like a chance of regretting myself some day, If I didn’t go today. Yes..I have to go. And I will...
          But I had my students waiting for me. When the decision is made, the solutions were coming easily. I had gone to my class, had a one and a half hour class, and gave them a break. Then I rushed to the temple, where the marriage was supposed to be held at. I have reached there on time, had seen my friends. Also him, who made me do this, Who told me what I was supposed to do, who taught me hold back my silly fight and ego and give cheers to one of my best friendship... I could see how he happy he was. Even though he didn’t mention anything I could know that.. Thank you my dearest brother and ever loving friend.. With out you, I couldn't have done it..
          Athi was also happy for my coming. She told me that, you just leave all that bad feelings you had. Just forget about it, and from today, you may not be continuing your relation with her, but you just don’t have to keep the burden of those fights anymore. Keep yourself happy always..
          We enjoyed the wedding celebrations fully. I had greeted her Best wishes. I am sure, she too was so happy on this. My presence. She asked me, “you have messaged me, that you won’t...?”. “ Yeah, but I couldn’t”- was my reply.
          Just after the function, I left there to continue my class. I want to thank my students also. They completely agreed to adjust.
          Thus, it ended like this.. as I had said in one of my previous post, ‘that may be because of the warmth of a good relation which we had once....’

Reading List


   Reading is my favourite hobby. It is nothing less than my passion... As the 2012 is ending, I just want to recollect all the books I came to read this year. Some are re-reads and some new-reads. I had made a collage of some of the books I have read yet.




          I couldn’t add some of these...(don’t know, some problem with editing).





I used to share my books with my friends and colleagues. Most of my books are thus distributed. I also collect books from my friends too. Here is some of them left in the ‘have read’ list. Rest are not with me now L.




          I have left with a small pile of books ‘to be read’. Here is a snap..





Oh! Such a long way to go..!!

  Hoping to finish more in next year.. JJ




Sunday, December 23, 2012

My wish came true..

          I just had finished it!!. In one sitting, I have read “The Secret Wishlist” , by Preeti Shenoy, one of my favourite author. I should say, she is again surprised me with her excellent story telling. I want to congratulate her with all my heart. This book made me think about my own ‘secret Wishlist’ too..:)
          This post came as a result of Preeti Shenoy’s new creative prompt. ‘Wishlist Wednesdays. It's a kind of contest as every week her publisher Westland will pick one entry and will send the winner copy of ‘The Secret Wishlist’.
          This week’s prompt: "My onewish that came true and gave me immense joy!"
          ...................................................................................................................
          Some months before, I was so depressed on something. Something was disturbing me terribly. I was feeling so sad.. and I have made a wish and prayers to God, that make everything fine. Just give me my brother back. There was a unseen wall forming between us. And when I started realizing ,that hurt me like hell. I had made a post- a letter to my brother on ‘Rakhiday’.
          And I am happy to say, my wish come true..!!
          .................................................................................................................
          After Rakhi day, I have been trying to get back the attachment, which was there in between us. And the ice wall started to melt.
          Then came his Birthday. On the day before that, I got to know that my two sisters had made some gifts prepared for him. They have bought something in advance, and I couldn’t.:( due to some reasons. I become upset.
          It was during our routine chat, I shared my feelings with my Love. I said, I couldn’t buy any gift for my brother. Then what he said really made me feel good. He said. “ Hey don’t worry, do one thing, when he cut the cake, and everyone give him their gifts, you just hug him and kiss him .wish him a very very happy birthday. I am sure, that will make him more happy”.You know what, I was relived really. I felt happy for having him as my soulmate.
Then the day came. He cut the cake, we made wishes, he filled everyone’s mouth with the Birth day cake. Sisters gave him gifts. I stood still. My heart was wishing to do what my love said. But, simply I couldn’t even though I have done it several times in my mind. I don’t know why, maybe it’s the presence of others or the thought about his response hold me back.
          That day I said my love that, I couldn’t do it. I really want to hug my brother, I wanted to kiss him. But, I couldn’t.
          Next day, after my work I went to the town with my friend. I want to buy something for him. Then, I have purchased some clothings : 2 teashirts, three-fourths, and a shirt. I was hoping , he will like my choices. In child hood days he always did.
          When I came home, it was getting darker, and my sisters were resting in their rooms. My parents were not reached then. There was no power supply also. So it was complete silence there. My brother was out of home.    
          I was thinking about giving the gifts to him, and about what his response will be. Then the door bell rang. It was him. I opened the door, and rushed to my room and called him from there, ‘ Da, can u just come here...?’
Without any hesitation, he came, and asked ‘what’s the matter?’. I just gave him the packets. I watched him checking all those. I can see he is happy. He said ‘Thanks’. And said ‘ no need to thank me’.
        Bro: Hmm....why?
          Me: you don’t have to, my dear..
          Bro: Hmm...okay..
          Me: you like it?
          Bro : Yeah..
          Me : Then..give me a kiss..
          Bro: ........??
Me pointed my cheek. Without any hesitation, he came near and planted a Kiss on my cheek. J J. Then I kissed him back too. I felt something got stuck in my throat. I felt my eyes going to be wet. And We both realized how much we missed each other...
         I was so happy when I detailed everything to my love. He was so happy too...
          ...............................................................................................................
          Now, I am happy. I know it is not the gift.. it was just a reason to make everything fine. Thanking God for everything. I pray to God that, please don’t make us fight ever. We can’t take this anymore.  
.............................................................................................................................



        
  Sikha


Friday, December 14, 2012

My Secret wish list



            Another creative prompt from my favourite author Preeti Shenoy! – “Wishlist Wednesdays”. Her latest book “ The Secret Wish list” is about to release today. I have already preordered one copy (Author signed copy! Vow!! J).  And, she want each of us to tell our secret wish list also. All know, the list may be indefinite, but she is asking us any 3 of our wishes. And I have started prioritorising my loooooooonnng list.
            I am so attached with my family (everyone does na..?)- my parents, my younger sisters and the youngest one, my brother. I was always happy with my family, it was my world.. But, now, the things are changed a little. Everyone have  grown up, and don’t know why, but I feel some thing is lacking. Is it because I am not a child anymore? I know, I can’t go back to my childhood again. But, I really wish everything will be the same as before. My marriage is nearby, and you know how it feels to part with your family.
         

There is one other person also whom I love the most, admire the most, and make quarrels the most. He was not a part of my family, but now for some years, he too.. a very important person in my life. The person whom I am going to marry. I hope, next year, at this time, we both will be together. I wish, I can give a good life to that wonderful person. Want to love him as much as I can, give him a lot of happiness, and be with him till my last breath.
   Thinking it as a little filmy? But, you know, romance is always like that...



          

  In my school days and college days, I was said to be a studious girl. I never spent too much time for study, but always got some good marks. Thank God!. I was the topper in my study days.. at that time, I was so ambitious about my career. But, I feel, I have nothing done purposefully, to reach where I am now. Its only God’s grace. He had made me gone through the right path always, and I didn’t had to make a decision every time. Bu sometimes, there was difficulties, which made me stronger. The final result was always the best. I wish,I can study more. Now, I want to pursue Ph.D. May be it seems like a greed rather than a wish, I wish very desperately for it. Don’t know, what is left for me. Not sure, if I can do that, when the life’s responsibilities increase. But, anyway I want to dream.... I trust my Lord. He will do the best for me...






            I want to thank Preeti Shenoy for such a chance to tell my wishes. Congratulations and best wishes for her 4th book and the long list of all the books, that will come in future...

Sikha.